Mark is a 29 y/o HIV + gay male living in Kansas City who is very well known and respected within our local gay community.
1. When did you first start experimenting with guys and were you aware of the risk involved with unprotected anal sex?
-Middle school I had heard of diseases and stuff but didnt really think they applied to me
2. Do you remember the first time you had unprotected anal sex? Was it with someone you were dating, loved and trusted?
-middle school with a friend.
3. Were you exposed to knowledge and information about the HIV virus before you had unprotected sex? Or was it not until after it was too late?
-I'd heard about it... didn't have much knowledge about it. heard more as I got older
4. How old were you when you contracted HIV virus? Do you know who you got it from?
-4/5/06, I was 27. I'm pretty sure I know who I got it from but don't speak with that person any more so havent confirmed. Told them my situation and never heard back. Doesnt really matter I guess...
5. Did you put yourself at risk prior to then but feel invincible or like you weren't vulnerable to get it? That is how most young people think, so what would you say to someone who has that mindset?
-Nobody ever thinks it will happen to them. I've helped probably 15 people through it and I don't think anyone was expecting it. I guess that's one reason I'm open about it.. so people will see that it does happen.
6. Did you go get tested at a clinic because you felt that you might have been exposed to it or were you just going for an annual testing without actually expecting bad news?
-Went to the free health clinic... someone I just broke up with said that I should but wouldn't tell me why. so I did and found out then.
7. What were your initial feelings and thoughts when you first found out that you were HIV positive? Did you tell your friends and family?
-That I should cash out my retirement accounts and go travel before I died. Friends know, family doesn't. Don't feel they need to worry about it since it won't do anyone any good. Didn't leave the house aside from work for a few weeks.
8. What resources were offered to you for help and counseling? Did the clinic supply you with information and knowledge? Do you wish this info was supplied to you earlier in life?
-Some brochures and stuff... They all discuss the medical aspects but nothing will prepare anyone for the social stigma BS, how the dating world collapses, etc.
9. Despite the continuing impact of HIV & AIDS, there are signs that awareness is waning among young people. Do you think young gay men need to be reminded about it constantly in order for it to make an impression on their decisions?
-Some people won't listen no matter how hard you try. I've had people that are neg talk about unprotected sex... both not knowing if I have anything or not. Then I tell them and you'd be shocked at the number of people that aren't affected by it at all. Like they just say they're neg because they haven't tested positive because they haven't gotten tested. I don't know if they are living in denial or don't care about themselves or anyone at that point.
10. According to kcmo.org, there are currently 4,900 males and 790 females (15 cases per 100,000 population) living with HIV in the Kansas City 11-county area. Does this number shock or surprise you?
-Sounds low actually... and who's to say people actually get tested? What's the incentive? Medication is $1400 a month (Atripla). My insurance brings mine down to $40/month. Look up the Ryan White funding that cities/counties get. It helps people pay for their medication and stuff if they qualify.
11. Have you ever participated in local community groups that offer weekly meetings for young gay men with HIV? Do you think these types of groups are beneficial?
-No. I'm sure for some people they would be quite effective... Never had any interest. And once you get to that point, I guess it could be sort of 'too late'. It might be good to learn about some stuff... but I didn't want to from there.
12. Do you think the media and community groups do a poor job of spreading knowledge about HIV prevention? I think that the current attempts have become outdated, worthless, unsuccessful and ineffective. Why do you think this is the case?
-It's something that nobody wants to talk about. How much do you hear about teen pregnancy? It's just easier to brush it under the rug and call it done than to actually stare it in the face and deal with it. I'm sure straight people think it's just a gay thing and half of them could probably care less about homos anyway...
13. Do you think that a new visual campaign embracing HIV awareness and prevention by using innovative, forceful, powerful, dramatic, emotional and personal content will ignite a change of thinking for young gay men? Do you think statistics or imagery
would be more effective?
-I think it could... but who wants to actually look at it? I'd use both... maybe imagery to get attention and the stats for people to actually understand? check out methproject.org
14. My goal is to infect knowledge on young gay men so that they wake up and realize that HIV is a serious threat. What types of innovative materials would you suggest I develop to make a real impact?
-At this point... I have no idea...
15. Finally, do you think that this is a lost cause or will I be able to change the way some people in our community think before putting themselves at risk again?
-Well I hope you can... better than the almost nothing I've seen recently.
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I also interviewed some of my friends who are active members of the gay community:
Cory who is a 25 year old 4th grade teacher ,
Jake who is a biracial 21 year old gay student at JCCC,
Tim who is a 30 year old successful gay architect,
Alex who is a 21 year old President of his fraternity at William Jewell College,
Aaron who is a 23 gay year old insurance rep.
1. When did you first start experimenting with guys and were you aware of the risk involved with unprotected anal sex?
In college--sophomore year. Experimented with some friends....none of us out at the time. I was fully aware and we always used condoms.
-I started experimenting with guys at the age of 18 and no I was not aware of the risk involved with unprotected anal sex
-1990, yes.
-I first started experimenting with guys in 8th grade, and no I was not aware of the risk involved with unprotected anal sex.
*I was 15 years old. I knew I could get something but didn't know much about it. I don't think I knew how severe something like HIV could have been if I contracted it
2. Do you remember the first time you had unprotected anal sex? Was it with someone you were dating, loved and trusted?
First time was with a boyfriend I trusted and liked very much. But, still regret doing that.
-Yes I remember the first time I had unprotected anal sex. The guy was my first and I was his first. No it was not with someone I was dating or loved but I did trust him.
First time was with a boyfriend I trusted and liked very much. But, still regret doing that.
-Yes I remember the first time I had unprotected anal sex. The guy was my first and I was his first. No it was not with someone I was dating or loved but I did trust him.
-Yes, no (very lucky he was neg).
-The first time I had unprotected anal sex was at 16, and it was also with the first guy I had sex with and just extremely lusted after.
*First time was when I was 18 years old and with a guy I barely knew
3. Were you exposed to knowledge and information about the HIV virus before you had unprotected sex? Or was it not until after it was too late?
I always knew the risks, so always protected myself. But have never been with anyone who did not respect the use of condoms.
-Yes I was aware of the facts about the HIV virus bc of Sex Ed Class. No it was not too late.
-Yes
-I had heard about it, but not the severity and reality of it.
*I didn't receive much information about unprotected anal sex until after my first experience
4. Do you feel invincible or like you aren't vulnerable to get it? That is how most young people think, so what would you say to someone who has that mindset?
I am freaked out about it so try to limit sex to only people I trust, however it still scares me!! Know too many people who have HIV.
-Sometimes I feel I am not capable of getting just bc I am not very sexually active but I do believe that anything can happen. I would tell them to wrap it up and get informed bc it's better to be safe than sorry...and get your partners test results before you choose to give yourself to them.
-No one is invincible, only lucky.
-I have thought that before, but it frightens me every time I have sex now. I would tell ayoung person that the “joy” felt from unprotected sex is not worth the risk. Don’t be ashamed to buy those condoms and lube and have to defend yourself if anyone finds it, it is so much better than the alternative.
*I don't feel invincible now but I remember a time when I did. I think I mostly trusted people to easily. I think I mostly thought the guys I met were all around great guys. they seemed healthy and nice on the outside, and I couldn't imagine each guy putting me at risk. I would tell someone not to be so trusting.
5. Despite the continuing impact of HIV & AIDS, there are signs that awareness is waning among young people. Do you think young gay men need to be reminded about it constantly in order for it to make an impression on their decisions?
YES, YES, YES--I have worked/volunteered/mentored kids--KIDS with HIV. Technology has opened up a whole new area for these kids to explore their sexuality. It is dangerous--kids meeting guys online--not knowing these guys. Being preyed upon. It kills me...but that is the situation facing these kids. Noone is there for them to talk to or to look up to. So they are eager to be a part of their community, but dont have the core group of gay friends to look out for them. So they make bad choices--and sometimes they get taken advantage of.
-YES YES YESSSSSSSS
-yes
-YES, ABSOLUTELY! The young gay men that I know do not even try to act safe anymore, it is blatant disregard of being safe that I think is scary.
*absolutely. I think the most effective thing for me was hearing or meeting people that have had close calls or contracted something in the past.
6. According to kcmo.org, there are currently 4,900 males and 790 females (15 cases per 100,000 population) living with HIV in the Kansas City 11-county area. Does this number shock or surprise you?
Not shocking to me because I volunteer with some of these kids. We have programs for them and help them get tested monthly. It is so much worse than anyone knows. Nobody is talking about it!!!! These kids are suffering because of this.
-Yes it does
-Yes, that it is that high.
-Yes it does, I only know of one person, and I would like to say I’ve seen or am an acquaintance with a lot of the gay community in KC. And it is very scary to know that one random hookup with the wrong person could result in regret for the rest of my life.
*I would expect the cases to be more.
7. Do you think the media and community groups do a poor job of spreading knowledge about HIV prevention? I think that the current attempts have become outdated, worthless, unsuccessful and ineffective. Why do you think this is the case?
Well, look at the hate crimes that continually happen in our city against gays/lesbians. They are never reported on!!! It is sick. And, I am shocked and disheartened that our local media is not picking up on the rise in HIV cases in youth 10-22 in our city. It is shameful. Parents of gay teens also need this information.
-I do think that the media and communities have done a poor job. I think that their need to be people that have been personally affected by the power of HIV and its effects that speak to others to warn them of the risks and how their life can change forever.
-It is the same message over and over again. Need a new approach.
-I think the media and community groups do terribly. We hear about how many people are dying from the swine (H1N1) flu, when so many more people are dying from AIDS. I think THAT is absurd.
*I think part of it may be funding but I also think there isn't enough concern about the issue. I don;t think there are enough people out there making a big deal about it or desiring much change.
8. Do you think that a new visual campaign embracing HIV awareness and prevention by using innovative, forceful, powerful, dramatic, emotional and personal content will ignite a change of thinking for young gay men? Do you think statistics or imagery would be more effective?
Imagery--nobody reads info. It has to be aimed at youth. Has to speak to them. Has to be relateable!!! But, also has to offer up some form of community/we are all one in the same. Make sense?
-I absolutely would agree that their needs to be a new approach for the HIV awareness campaign and that will have an affect on the young gay men in KC or America for that fact. I think people would be more affected and educated by SEEING something rather than reading it so I would definately go with imagery.
-Imagery, too many statistics already bombarding us daily.
-I think it would be helpful. Honestly, as much as I try to be politically correct, it needs to be almost offensive to people to get their attention, too. Therefore I think imagery is the best. But that statistics could provide a reality to the imagery. I know there is another campaign that just started in Germany recently called “AIDS is a mass murderer” and has a website that is pretty offensive, but DEFINITELY get the message across.
*absolutely
9. My goal is to infect knowledge on young gay men so that they wake up and realize that HIV is a serious threat. What types of innovative materials would you suggest I develop to make a real impact?
Like you said--visuals!!! I wish I could explain better, but something that will really catch the attention of our gay youth!!
-I think you need to have speakers that have been affected by HIV...like personal documentaries...not only take factual statitics to show young sexually active people but show visually how those statitics are true.
- I think pictures of young gay guys of all body types, races and “looks” living with aids would make people think…finding the ones willing to be used may be difficult.
-I kind of answered that in the previous question, but I like how you used the word “infect” for getting to know knowledge. I think that could be used in some sort of thing like ”get infected with the information, not the disease”. Not really sure, but you are very creative and I know you could play with it.
*I would say something along the lines of the drug commercials and ads. they show before and after photos or commercials of consequences when you are high. something along those lines for HIV would be great!
10. Finally, do you think that this is a lost cause or will I be able to change the way some people in our community think before putting themselves at risk again?
Never a lost cause!!! You will make an impact. Your art is breathtaking!!! You have a very young and urban eye!! Your talent will make a difference KYLE!! So proud of you for doing this!!!
-I think your already making a change by caring. You have already made me more aware by this survey so hey if I am the one person that responds by filling out this survey than I am one person that has been changed already :)
-If you save one life, won’t it be worth it?
-Kyle, I think you have a ton of friends, and that a lot of people in the local community will listen to you. You really need to get in the minds of people of not acting in the moment, but being smart at all times. No excuses of alcohol or inconvenience. People will listen.
*I think every little bit helps. if it changes one person's mind and prevents at least one person from contracting it, then I think it isn't a lost cause at all.
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